Circular Patterns lead to no direction.

I don't know entirely where this post is going to go, today.
I only know that my coffee is strong this morning.
At 6:59 a.m.
Because I pushed the "strong brew" button today.
I think it's going to be one of those days.
You know those days? Where you get up, and you don't quit for one second?
Yeah, it's kind of going to be like that. But I suppose that's what college life is;
moving a light speed without having a solidified direction.
I suppose that's why so many of us feel a little lost once post-graduation hits.
We have been busy creating our lives for the past four years inside the "It's okay to try everything" bubble...and then we receive a diploma, and we are pushed out into the media saturated, technology dependent world..and expected to get it right.
Right?
What is right?
Is this some sort of a pageant question?

Okay, fine. I am going to appease myself.
Pageant question of the day: (this seems like a good idea, maybe I shall start it)
-"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
(note: I have been asked this question on multiple occasions...in multiple pageant and job interviews...ugh)
-Typical BS response...."Well, I can definitely see myself in a Broadcast Journalism stint for ahwhile, but ultimately I want to end up in the field of Corporate Public Relations or Communications.

Okay...Does anyone have an idea of what that even MEANS?
Have we ever fooled anyone with such malarchy?
If I could actually answer this question.Today. With the copious amounts of caffeine that I have had, and mentally transparent state to which I currently prescribe, I would perhaps, instead, render a response similar to this:
"Well, I am currently pursuing a degree in Strategic Communication. I'm not really sure what that is, but when I transferred to OSU, and I was looking at a document that listed all the different types of overly vague degrees that I could consider, this seemed to roll of my tongue in the best way. Nope, I don't really love this degree, because I have no idea what to do with it. But I'm going with it, because for once in my life, I need to finish something."

Wow. That's real inspiring, isn't it? hmmmm....
This, my friends, is the reality of most of us after we finish college. Truly. I see it all the time. I work at a steakhouse with people who have LEGIT degrees and no focus or motivation or marketing skills to thrive in the job market.
So this begs the question of..

What the heck should we do to change this? How do we become solidified in a career by age 22? What do we even know about life at age 22?

We, as college students (I am mainly referring to women), become accustomed to several unique forms of living, which include, but are not entitled to:

• Binge Drinking
• Less than 4 hours of sleep on a daily basis
• Casual sex as an acceptable form of dating
• Bartending jobs
• Slutty clothing in negative degree weather/ ridiculously casual, pajama like outfits during class 
• Thinking that someone cares about the fact that we are trying out a new Jazz class. 

In the end, we end up spit out of a huge university, where everyone seems to be a slightly different shade of the next person, with the same unfocused degree....

I don't know about you, but this scares the H-E-double-hockey-sticks-outta-me.

I have to find a way to stand out in a school that promises nothing for an artist like me. 

We all must find a way to pursue happiness without falling subject to the 

circular patterns of the college experience that lead 

us in no direction. 

That being said, I find that my tangent made my 

coffee cold. ...

So I will wrap this up. 

The goal I had in my previous post was to begin to challenge myself by changing my way of thinking. 

Today, the goal is to SEE THE BIG PICTURE and hold onto the dreams that I eagerly had before the tainted, darker mixture of paint settled into my moldable, young soul. 

So today, I will make one decision that leads me to a direction that I can follow in the days to come. 

But today I will avoid the 

Circular Patterns. 

-Lys

Balance...And where to draw the line.

I sit here in my dimly lit kitchen; my fridge quietly humming in the background, and I think to myself :

Right now is a good time to blog.

Granted, it's been a long time since I really sat down and blogged, and I was only persistent on this particular site a few times.

Nontheless, I feel that it is  time. 

The topic of discussion this evening?

Balance. 

The concept is simple. 

The execution, however, alludes many of us on a daily basis.  

 In this constantly changing series of events we call our lives, it seems that one particular event, idea, or circumstance continues to take precedence in ways that disrupt the pattern of balance that so many of us desperately seek. 

A lack of balance can manifest itself in many ways. 

For the growing child, it could be too many video games and not enough sleep. 

For the adolescent, perhaps it's too many extracurriculars and not enough time to study. 

For the business woman/man, the meetings are long and the drive home is longer. 

And for the soccer-mom of three,it could be a lack of self preservation taken in the form of her family and their demanding schedule.  

So she puts off her manicure. 

Her own needs can wait. 

After all, sometimes there just isn;t 

enough

time. 

Time. 

That's what it really boils down to- 

we fill our lives with 

remedial productivity 

that ,in the end, will only merge into  other

•  tasks and
•  meetings and
•  bullet points;

The checklists that we throw away at  the end of every day. 

Or we stash them somewhere and a few days later give them no second thought. Because chances are, we have created an entirely new list of things that we must accomplish, and while it no doubt contains some of the same "To Do" list elements that never really get off the paper, this set of checkmarks no longer matter. 

Our mindset has already moved on. 

To another time. Another place .

Another bank deposit. 

A different workout. 

A new week of groceries, or a higher utility bill, or an exam in a class that we didn't have last quarter. 

Everything is circular. And yet time is relative. 

Because we spend our entire lives trying to 

get everything done...

 so that we have time to spend doing 

the things we  love.

That is  the irony of living itself..

 the things that we love..

Rarely even end up on the list. 

Balance. 

Without it, our lives will pass us by, and we will end up with nothing but a stack of

 Repurposed tasks on lists that we

 never finished. 

So think about it...

What penetrated your life today that kept you from doing something 

that you love?

And how can you eliminate it for tomorrow?

" Yesterday has gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. 

We have only today. Let us Begin."

-Mother Theresa