Holding all the Coats.

Tonight i was the background harlett. 

Scarlet  holding all the coats. 

Tonight i watched the lives before me

Design, and  laugh, 

and boast

 every instance that they'd walked 

and every time they fell. 

And I met some who'd fallen. 

Fallen hard, 

but picked up well. 

And then I watched in disbelief

at in my life what i'd achieved

and where I've come to with my time . 

At 23, I Pity my--

self diluted sickness

that I've done all I can do. 

You wanna know that moment?

My nightmares did come true. 

I finally have reached the place 

Where I stand in all black-

Still holding onto all the coats, 

and they're not looking back. 

For while I'm simmering 

Like the burn of some forgotten stew-

The singers sang a melody that breathed life into view. 

And if I don't do something, 

stop fearing for the cost. 

My  fear will overtake me. 

My Song. 

It will be lost. 

Believing in the Journey.

In order to fulfill a dream, you have to be willing to go through a journey.
Every journey is a process, I think.
Of active persistence and subconscious passion.
There is nothing in the world if we as a race lose our passion.
But what if we broke it down?
Dissect it until we start with the beginning --
the individual and his/her dream.
What was mine?
What still is?
Is it to sing?
I have tried not to breathe music when I allow air into my lungs.
I have run away from it, and
scorned it,
and devoured it's seemingly stand-alone
desire to be heard.
My voice.
I have cowered behind it.
Tried to diminish it.
Even with things that sustain life,
I have tried to burn it away.
And yet, here I sit, yet again, in this huge, dusty space,
with it sitting right in front of me.
And yet I cannot face it.
I can't face it?
I don't know why I haven't tried harder
to revel in the things that I know would make me whole.
So what is stopping me today?
Does anything have to?

Too far into the future. 

 encaged in my small past. 

But i think the wall i've hit now ,

the wall that's growing fast

Is one the I can conquer 

if I will let it be 

swallow my pride 

and draw new lines 

Believe in my journey.