David and Shirley
The One Who Got Us There
By: Alyssa Hanson
Saturday, May 5th, 2012
The purpose of this exchange tonight is to remember
and respect the rarity of a lifetime that these two, David and Shirley Patrick,
have spent together. A purpose intended
not only to acknowledge it while they renew their vows to forever love,
cherish, and value one another, but also to teach those of us who haven't
celebrated this season in our lives…
About what
it really takes to keep a marriage
alive.
The following remarks are therefore, recollections
and compilations, from not only David and Shirley, but from their children's
marriages, written amidst their grandchildren’s thoughts, about where that
strength comes from.
About how
the fire remains burning.
One of the first ingredients to a successful
marriage that everyone mentioned was the initial chemistry involved followed by the intimacy that both experience
following the lifting of the veil.
Shirley recalled the first few years of marriage as
multifaceted, saying:
"We had plans to finish school first, but then
Lisa came along. We bought our first house for 516 dollars, and all we had in
it was a mattress on the floor, a card table, and some newspaper. "
It was one of the happiest times in their lives.”
Having nothing but each other to rely on, their
first expression of intimacy together cooing in the corner, paint splattered
all over one of David’s old t-shirts.
It was youth. I
t was purity.
It was true love.
And they not only managed to sustain it, but grow
together amongst the equivalent of years spent apart while David drove the
truck and Shirley went to nursing school.
The energy that they felt for one
another, the same energy experienced at the beginning, has never wavered.
Never
changed.
Turn on a light in their bedroom, and the red
ambiance that casts romance upon their bedside will tell you that not only do they
have a spark, but 50 years later, they are still as attracted to each other as
the day they met.
Lisa, their oldest daughter, remarked about knowing the value of being spontaneous. She recalled one
morning when David woke up and wanted to visit family: they all jumped in the
truck and headed out to California. Shirley learned how to drive that very
truck.
Laughter
is often in such abundance in the beginning of a relationship.
When life takes over, however, it is also usually
the first thing to dissipate. Julie and Damon remarked that remembering to
laugh at yourselves and at life makes the journey so much more colorful and
fulfilling.
An ambiguous and seemingly ominous task is always
knowing how to communicate with one another.
Shirley notes in her memories of their dating years
that David "wasn't like the rest of them," that he spoke with
"an intelligence and depth that made her feel secure in the levels of
communication that they would be able to achieve."
Through it all, talking it out has kept them both from keeling over when a
disagreement lit up an argument.
Learning how to compromise often came up as an
integral component from all couples There may be times when larger issues, such
as where to raise children, can create dissension. Other times, it may be the
simplicity of daily lives that require such compromise. After all, both you and
your spouse will not always want to watch the same television show, eat the
same dinner, or turn on the red lamp in the bedroom at the same time.
Yes, compromise is huge.
Being
adaptive to change is a life lesson
that both Dave and Shirley had to learn with each other, as well as being able
to sustain hardship in its various forms- financial issues, health problems,
and the expansion of the family meant growing together, and leaning on each
other through it all.
Commitment- Mark and
Lisa defined this as working on it when you think you cannot work on it
anymore, and with a level of patience which can only be learned.
Perhaps one of the elements that separate the ones
we date from the one we marry is the shift of focus, from what we expect to
receive in the relationship to what will make the other happy.
Along with this focus comes needing to understand
and take an interest in each other's worlds- this is a different way of expressing love. This means learning each other's love language and catering
to it.
Developing a Best Friendship- this is a fundamental
element that must never be forgotten. How can one spouse begin to know the
other if the details are always left out?
Sharing
the little things matter.
Those details may be lost and forgotten in the long
run, but, it is in those details that you will to fall over and over in love
with each other, all while helping to keep within sight the dream David and
Deanna shared, the one that they both had from the beginning…
To share
your lives together.
In
a marriage, it is essential to allow your spouse to be who they really are.
It wasn’t until Shirley married David that she truly began to understand
that he was not a rooted individual- he was meant to fly. And she allowed him
to do so, even though it meant many nights spent without him.
And while David had a large wingspan, Shirley
needed music, routine, and a compass through which she viewed the world. It was
this same compass that has always filled her with desire to give and minister
in the church. The roots of her spirit and the height of his have led to a
balance that has helped them thrive together for all of these years.
It is
something every marriage needs to thrive.
Yes, all of this is what helps to make a marriage
last, but all couples agreed that the true component of a strong union is the
one that they share with our Savior.
Both independently and together, David and
Shirley's fire for the Lord has been the foundation of all that came before, and
all that will come after, the story of
their grand love.
It is with
this thought that we celebrate their union once again, after 5 decades of commitment,
loyalty, adoration and a divine energy
summarized by this one last piece of advice:
"And though you strive for many
things,
All that your lives allow,
The weight of it alone will crush
it all.
And you will drown.
If you don't keep it close to-
He who died and He who dared.
Then In your love you’ll be
rewarded,
Remembering who got you there.
"
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